To Never See the Stars
by Envy VS Ling
Summary: It's Edwards first time drinking with Roy, they stumble into an alleyway, get transmuted into teenagers, and...what? Ed turns female? What happens when everything in Ed and Roy's life suddenly twists? Lets just say, Edward is never drinking again. Fem!Ed


Roy Mustang stared proudly at his subordinates, his infamous smirk playing gently on his lips. Another wave of applause carried though the room, and Roy beamed, thoroughly proud with his promotion from Colonel to Major General. Havoc walked up to his friend, clapping him on the shoulder and gripping it reassuringly, hardly knowing how much it kept the usually stoic Roy from fainting.

The notorious Roy Mustang was a known licentious womanizer, and an Arrogant, self-serving, shallow man. This reputation much came from his cocky, narcissistic aura that hung around him as thickly as the pollution that pushed defiantly against the air.

But at that moment in time, he was afraid. Of course, he would never let it show through, preferring to appear impenetrable and unconcerned.

Roy had sleek licorice black hair, which hung, unkempt and careless over his dark calculating midnight blue eyes. His face was roundish, and flawless, except for the faint, purplish bags that almost always hung under his eyes, giving away his rather insomnious sleeping habits. Fortunately, Roy had slept well the other night. Roy had an attractive and sophisticated pose, and was usually attired in the required, blue uniform, rarely seen in anything casual or humble. The sinewy muscles on his arms were rather obvious, and his filled-out body gave him a somewhat unfair advantage against the smaller men in the military and civilian alike.

And Roy Mustang knew, very well, what an upper hand he had.

There was only one person who could get under his skin in a way that had him itching subconsciously at his flesh. And that was Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, and one of the youngest to achieve such a title. Standing about [CENSERED FOR PERSONAL REASONS BY *AHEM* EDWARD ELRIC] it was not hard for one to believe that he had a complex, about his height. His tawny fiery gold eyes were narrowed slightly at the Flame Alchemist, and his antenna; a single piece of hair, sticking obscenely from his golden head, twitched.

He was wearing a thin red, long sleeved, hooded cloak; its tail came down to his lower calves, and white untarnished gloves with a black loose-fitting sleeveless t-shirt, and black tight-fitting leather pants with a large brown leather belt. Hanging from his waist was the familiar silver chain that screamed Edwards's title as an alchemist for the world to see. He had black leather boots with thick red, rubber soles, thinking to give him some height. His lengthy hair was in a bulky, messy braid and his bangs framed and cradled his face fondly. He had a strong square jaw, and muscular arms, unseen under the red coat which covered his Automail arm.

Despite both Edward Elric and Roy Mustangs objections, they were very much alike.

Edward Elric slouched leisurely against Mustangs new brown couch, his taunting uneven claps echoing above the others, mocking his superior officer with the simple raise of his thin golden brow.

Roy's eye twitched irritably and he turned away from his friends (except one, mind you) looking out of the pristine window, to his right. He cleared his voice subtly, and glanced at them out of the corner of his eye. Though he appreciated their enthusiasm for him, he was a rather impatient man.

As soon as the clapping had reseeded he turned back to them. Jean Havoc, a full head taller than Mustang, with dirty blonde hair cut short on the sides and back, sticking out in all directions. A flimsy cigarette hung limply from his grinning mouth. Riza Hawkeye; beautiful and cold with tantalizing curves and big amber eyes, waiting expectantly for her new Major General to say something extremely stupid or feebleminded. Her usually straight face was soft and her thin lips were in a small smile, her blonde hair was in a neat trademark bun. Heymans Breda, broad shoulders with short red hair and fair skin. He had a large belly, and cherished it greatly. Vato Falman, a little shorter than Jean, lanky, with a kind knowing smile. Kain Fuery, young, determined eyes behind a set of glasses, with floppy blackish hair and dark brown eyes.

Always there; for him, eager to help Roy Mustang, achieve his goal, no matter how farfetched and out-of-reach it was.

"Thank you," Roy murmured his usual façade dropping.

His companions laughed, breaking the slight tension that hung suspended in the air.

"We didn't do anything!" Jean Havoc replied, squeezing Roy's shoulder again. Riza Hawkeye walked up besides him, putting her arm around Havocs waist and leaning against him. Roy's stomach dropped considerably. Roy knew that it was for the best, Jean was a great friend, and with a good head on shoulders he could take care of her. But sometimes, it hit him like a punch in the stomach. Sometimes, he hated his friend for it.

Roy turned away, shamed at his childish accusations.

"How 'bout we go out, hit the clubs, and have a few beers?" Breda suggested, coming up in front of Mustang with a smirk on his face. Roy's lips twitch, and he gave Breda a crooked grin.

"Sure," He replied smoothly, turning away to sit at his desk. He put his feet onto the desk and placed his folded hands into his lap. He saw Riza scowl at his behavior in the corner of his eye, and Roy's smirk widened.

"How about 'Hit 'em Stars'?" he said, looking Breda in the eye. Breda nodded, grinning rebelliously at the Major General.

"Sure thing," Breda turned away, towards the rest of the small group, "How 'bout it? You guys in?"

Everyone nodded, and then a scoff reached his ears. Roy turned to Edward.

"Something you found amusing Fullmetal?"

Edwards head flopped towards Mustang and he gave Roy a look that screamed 'Are you stupid?' Edward shifted slightly, clearly finding the attention a bit awkward and forced. He raised his hands up.

"Have you forgotten that someone here is under aged?"

Roy Mustang smirked, at ease.

"Don't worry Fullmetal we all know you're too young to drink...that's why," He added, pausing to add a dramatic affect to his words, "We are going to _make_ you legal,"

If this were an anime Roy would have sworn everyone in the room sweat dropped. Riza was the first to break to silence.

"Sir-" she started, only to be interrupted by an over zealous Roy Mustang, "I know Hawkeye, I know, just let me show you what I mean..."

Thirty minutes later Roy's hands shook from having to use them carefully. His fingers were covered in glue and his new office was scattered with thin sheets of plastic and scrap paper. But Roy was smug. In his right hand was a small square, laminated card. A fake ID.

Edward Elric's scowling face was glued with precision to the right hand corner of the ID card.

Roy handed it over to Ed, and watched with great amusement as his jaw dropped and he gaped, awestruck by how skillfully it was made and how realistic it was.

"Though, it will be kind of difficult to actually convince them that you are twenty-three considering you're extremely small."

"SMALL?" Ed's outraged screech echoed in the room and everyone stepped back from the infuriated Fullmetal Alchemist, subtly.

Roy, enjoying the look of fury on Ed's face pushed it to the extreme.

"Like a bean sprout in a forest."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN SPROUT WITH GROWTH PROBLEMS?"

Roy chuckled as the rest of the group had to hold the vengeful Edward Elric down with full force.

Mustang stood up, ignoring the ever-growing pile of paperwork and stepped around his desk, walking across the room; purposely pretending he didn't feel it when Fullmetal's right fist hit him on his arm.

He turned back to his friend.

"I'll see you Sunday at eight then," He said, and left, leaving Riza and Edward both scowling at the door for two very different reasons.

Roy strolled down the sidewalk idly, lulled by the ceaseless sound of his polished black boots, hitting the cement with a dull 'thump'. His hands were in the pockets of his large brown coat, clenched tightly to keep the autumn chill from numbing his fingers. Roy smiled flirtatiously at a group of young girls sitting at the bench to his left.

The girls giggled and whispered, quiet noticeably, in response to his seductive manner, and waved stupidly after him.

Roy's face twisted into a smug smile, knowing how easily he had made those girls swoon.

God it was _so_ hard to be Roy Mustang.

Mustang turned a corner, his destination coming into view. It was a spacious building, unusually larger than the surrounding buildings, not as boisterous in color as the neighboring supermarket and appliance store next to it. The doors were painted a dark provoking purple and Christmas lights of red purple and white, lit up the porch area, inviting and mysterious.

A clearly annoyed Edward Elric meandered around the entrance, checking the silver watch in his hand now and then.

He was attired in a red, button up red shirt that had long sleeves that covered his automail arm. He had on black fingerless gloves, his left hand shoved into his trademark leather pants. His hair was in a low tail, tied with a string of brown leather.

Roy heard the boy sigh, and waited until his golden eyes were focused on his dark blue ones. Ed's eyes narrowed menacingly, and Roy smiled warmly back, clearly enjoying the Fullmetal Alchemist discomfort.

"What took you so long you Colonel Bastard, I've been waiting!" Edward hissed at Mustang, shoving his watch in front of Roy's face for emphasis. Roy waved it away.

" Major General," Roy retorted, waving a finger in front of the smaller man in front of him, " Its Major General Fullmetal, and you will address me as such,"

The Elric brother scoffed up at him, "In your damn dreams, _Mustang_..."

Then he turned and entered the bar behind him, Roy Mustang following close behind him.

The room was dark, and lively, with men and women busily playing pool in the far right corner of the room. There was a long bar that ran across one end of the room to the other, nearly empty because of the fact you could drink at the pool tables. A thing of tables covered the near right hand corner, and a well built woman went about wiping down the tables, too occupied with the task in front of her to even acknowledge their presence.

And that was just hoe they liked it.

Soon the two were seated at the bar. Roy turned to his companion.

"Shouldn't we wait for everyone to get here before we get comfortable?" Roy asked warily, afraid of a familiar gun barrel in his face for being so rude.

Ed looked away uneasily, picking at a scratched and scuffed sticker that someone stuck to the counter.

"Uh," he started, "Havoc is sick with the flu and Riza wanted to take care of him, Kain was called into work for some reason; he didn't tell me, Breda had a stomach ache and didn't want to take the risk, and Falman decided he had to help Kain," Edward rolled his eyes, "Yeah right, he just isn't the type to party, that's all,"

Edward turned back to him, looking slightly panicky, but hiding it well.

"I mean, um, if-if you want to go that's fine, I know that-that you were expecting everyone-"

"Edward," Roy said patiently, he could tell what Fullmetal was actually saying, "Its fine, besides, who's going to teach you how to drink alcohol when your all alone?"

Fullmetal blushed, and bent his head, seeming to be ashamed that it was his first time drinking.

Roy motioned the bartender over.

"Two Sazeracs' please." He smiled pleasantly at the girl over the counter, and she nodded briskly before she began taking out the ingredients. The girl paused and jerked her thumb at the small boy next to him.

"How old is he?"

Mustang smirked and replied smoothly, "Twenty-three,"

The bartender turned to Edward, clearly unconvinced.

"ID?"

Edward, just as smoothly, pulled out his wallet and handed the unresolved women his (fake) ID.

She glanced over it bored and handed it back.

"Sorry, you're kinda short for your age,"

"SHORT?" Fullmetal yelled, reaching out to grab the woman's collar.

Roy reached out a hand, placing it gingerly on his shoulder.

"Fullmetal," He warned tightening his grip.

Edward fell back onto the stool rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He glanced at Roy and rolled his eyes.

The Flame Alchemist smirked condescendingly.

"Here you go," The bartender said, sliding the two small cups to them before hurrying off to help the other customers.

The drink was an amber color, and a small slice of lemon was placed strategically to the rim of the cup. The strong scent it gave off burned Edwards nose.

"So," Ed questioned, motioning to the cup.

Roy Mustang grabbed his cup, placing it to his lips before taking a small sip. A grimace flitted across his face, before he took another sip, and another, and finally slammed the cup back onto the table.

He smirked down at the awe filled teen and pushed Edwards cup towards him.

"Drink," he murmured before he called the bartender down to order another drink.

Edward Elric knew he shouldn't have drank as much as he did, giving that it was his first time drinking, but he had, wanting to show the Bastard Col-no, _Major General_,that he could handle the burning it caused in the pit of his stomach.

Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist, indifferent, arrogant and stubborn teenager, giggled madly, slamming another drink down on the table.

"Edswardo Elrico," Roy Mustang slurred out, then chuckled, "You has a funny name,"

Edward grinned sheepishly, "My name izn't Edswardo Elrico, its Edoward Eldric,"

The two usually emotionless men snickered uncontrollably, completely out of character.

"We should go," Roy said in a determined voice, the slurring causing it to sound less serious then intended, "Its, wow, its three somthin' in the morning,"

Edward nodded, sliding off the booth clumsily, Mustang soon in pursue.

The two men stumbled out of the bar; leaning against each other in attempt to smother the crumbliness they had on their own. Let's just say, it didn't work.

"Roy-boy you idiotic monkey, this is not your house!"

Ed's voice echoed through the alleyway. His small fist pumped up and down in a child-like manner, his voice slurred and obviously wasted. He grinned stupidly at the taller man and leaned against him involuntary.

"I really..." he paused and lurched forward drunkenly, eyelids drooping slightly before opening widely, "_Really _thought that this was my house..."

Edward sneered, "Not with the pay you're getting, you couldn't live in a card board box if you tried."

Roy chuckled.

"Are you two the Fullmetal Alchemist and Flame Alchemist?" An eerie unpleasant voice said.

The two turned suddenly, stumbling forward out of pure insensibility.

"What the hell are you talkin' 'bout, Roy-boy isn't _hot_ he's...well he's..." Ed started, waving his hand around in the air dramatically.

Roy Mustang leered at Edward, stuffing a hand in his pocket and pulling out his watch.

"Well look at the time," He said, swaying, flicking it open and falsely checking the time, "I guess its time for Edoward Eldric to be an idiot, _again_!

"Shut up," Ed retorted, "I not the one who's short!"

Dumbfounded, Roy raised an eyebrow at the runty teenager beside him, wobbling like a toddler, and said quiet frankly, "Ed...You're drunk..."

"So are you!" He shouted back, both completely forgetting the shadowy figure standing at the other end of the alleyway blocking their only way out.

"Ed," His hard voice replied, "You're _really _drunk,"

Edwards head dropped low to his chest, suddenly loosing all momentum to make any more wise ass comments.

"Yeah...I know"

A low sinister chuckle carried through the alleyway causing both the men to turn away from the dead end behind them. The light behind him illuminated his figure, blacking out any distinguishing features that could other wise be useful.

"Perfect, absolutely perfect, wasted to oblivion, this is going to be easy," The unknown male murmured out loud.

Then faster then blowing out a candle, the lights went out, and the world was sucked into darkness.


End file.
